I Would Bleed Just to Know I’m Alive

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be 
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I could taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin'
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

For the longest time I felt like I didn’t exist, I still feel this way. I yearned to be seen and heard and now I struggle with it. I didn’t choose my previous alias, “A Figment”, it was how I felt at the time. For one whole day, it seemed like no one noticed me.

For the next 4 years, I would spend my life trying to define myself from someone who didn’t exist to existing whenever I desired. After my suicide attempt in 2012, I eventually shed the alias “A Figment” as I didn’t feel like I was that person anymore. I would become “Figment Proxy”, an idea for positive change.

I have yet to establish my current identity. I feel like the idea for positive change doesn’t have a place in this world, no one is ready for it yet. All I want is for someone to give me a chance. I just want them to know who I am…